Royally Blown Scones

When my parents stay in hotels up here, they like to smuggle out individual tea bags, bananas, oatmeal packets and individual peanut butters for me.  So with my insane amount of massive hotel bananas (for some reason they look more like plantains), yesterday morning I had an almond butter and banana sandwich for breakfast.  On the side I had one of the smuggled yogurts with more banana and chia seeds.

Before dinner I did an interview about a death by chocolate cake at a “dessert and wine bar” downtown called Bittersweet.  It’s starting to become a little comical asking an extensive amount of questions about a singular food item like it’s a celebrity and I’m speaking with their PR person, but I don’t hate it.

I’d love to go back to Bittersweet after dinner downtown sometime… If we’re really feeling classy.

Check out their menu: Bittersweet Eats

Since the interview ran pretty short, I met up with a friend for tea at Recess.  They were out of my go-to lemon ginger, but I had some sort of fruity-something that was still great.  Plus we were there for coffee bean roasting time (which oddly smelled a little bit like popcorn).

Before I left to go downtown, I marinated some salmon in a mango-coconut sauce that I just bought.  Sooooo goooood.   On the side a salad topped with pepper, apple and carrot.

Post dinner I had some Greek yogurt with pumpkin puree, pumpkin butter, cinnamon and graham bumpers (and some chocolate too, duh).  Speaking of the Greek stuff, last night I interviewed Michael Sansolo, a retail food industry consultant, about Greek yogurt.  He essentially solidified the fact that Greek yogurt isn’t just a fad, and that even though it’s pricier than standard yogurt, consumers buy it for it’s more “vibrant taste” and health attributes.  Interesting.

And later last night, in true senioritis style, I chose to bake instead of do work.  My kind of productivity.

Here’s the lovely mess I created.

So I had some problems.  Here’s where I admit to my sister that I do in fact screw up when I don’t use recipes.

Let me tell you about my scone woes.

The first speed bump I hit was my “fresh” cranberries.  Admittedly, I don’t even remember when I bought them.  When I took them out of the bag, they didn’t feel, smell or taste right.  I think they fermented.  Gross.

So much for pumpkin cranberry scones.  Fine.  Instead I chopped up an apple.

May I also inform you that I have never made scones.

Second speed bump, okay so it’s no secret that I try to “healthitize” recipes.  Sometimes this works beautifully, other times it fails miserably.

Here’s a rough estimate of what went in that giant glass mixing bowl:

-a scant amount of almond milk

-an egg white

-1/2 cup pumpkin puree

-1 diced apple

-dash of salt

teaspoon of baking powder

-teaspoon pumpkin butter

-1 1/2 cup whole wheat pastry flour

-2 teaspoons coconut oil

-some greek yogurt (see I don’t even know how much)

-cinnamon

-some lemon zest and juice

-pumpkin pie spice

Sidenote: This ingredients list also shows my haphazard kitchen approach in that normal recipes list ingredients with dry first and then wet.  I just threw things together.  It failed.

My pumpkin apple “scones” baked into bland pumpkin apple bread.  Ooops.  I had a triangle last night, trying to convince myself with each bite that the taste was growing on me.  Nope.

This morning I saw the dopey circle sadly residing on the stove top and attempted to reinvent a section.  One last attempt.

Faux Scone French Toast:

Better, but dammit… still pretty sucky.  I ate it anyway so it wouldn’t feel bad.

Next time: Sugar! Real sugar! more salt and real butter.

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2 responses to “Royally Blown Scones

  • Jillian

    The failed scones so clearly remind me of a pumpkin apple muffin massacre that happened in my kitchen last year or the apple crisp that had uncooked flour…mmm both delicious experiments….not.
    Better luck next time! (I know you will…one fail out of 4372 isn’t bad.) On the other hand that almond butter and banana sammie is giving me bad cravings right now. Next time try Justin’s Chocolate Almond butter (okay fine try any of his butters!!) so good but sooo baddddd….i’ve been known to eat the whole jar in 24 hours!
    xoxo

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